41 And Diagnosed As ADHD

On Thursday the 30th of October at about 5:15pm, I was in a video call with a physiatrist through Psychiatry UK and he says the words I've been expecting for over 2 years.... "Suzy, you have ADHD".

I'd already done lots of the online forms and tests to see what the result would be and it always came out that I had ADHD, but hearing it from an actual medical professional hit differently.

I could finally start to understand why I think, feel and act the way I do. I did get a little emotional after the call because it meant that instead of being told I'm stupid or depressed, I was on the right path to working myself out.

When I was in primary school and my first secondary school (I went to 4), I would have extra classes to help me with reading and writing. I remember loving those classes because it was me, a few other students and 1 or 2 teachers. I was getting 1 on 1 help and I would do really well. Until I went back into the classroom and got lost in a room full of 20+ kids and 1 teacher. I also remember that a few times in junior school I would have someone sitting with me writing my answers in tests but I never properly understood the questions so always got them wrong.

I always felt stupid and the other kids in my class calling me stupid and bullied me.

For most of year 9, I was home schooled by my mum and sister, and it was amazing. I learnt a lot because it was just me, I felt it easier to concentrate and I always had someone with me helping me. My mum was worried about me missing out on work for my GCSEs so sent me back to school and I found that I was quite far ahead of everyone else in my year. I felt quite smart for a little while but then I was lost in a classroom of kids again and I was back to being stupid again.

I didn't do too bad in my GCSEs but I also didn't do great, I hadn't understood a lot of the work and felt too ashamed to ask for help. Maybe if I had had the ADHD diagnosis back then, I would have done better.

In my late 20s I was having trouble with my mental health, I was having panic attacks, my moods were really low, I couldn't go anywhere other than work without Sean because I would panic, I was all over the place. I went to the doctor and after a 5 minute conversation, was prescribed antidepressants. They worked for about a month and then started to ware off so the doctor put my dosage up. they started to ware off again so I refused to take them anymore, I didn't see the point if they weren't working. So I struggled on as I was thinking the doctors couldn't help.

I even ended up quitting a job with no other job to go to because I was on urge of a nervous break down. There had been a re-structer and I was told to go into a department where I didn't like and I couldn't do the work but got told that if I didn't like it, I could leave. I tried for a year and felt bullied by my manager who did her best to make me feel stupid. I finally gave up when she tried to give me a disciplinary for something I hadn't done but instead of fighting back, I gave my notice instead. It took me 6 months to get my confidence back to go back to work.

In 2021, nearly a year after my dad passed away, I had a mini breakdown. I didn't know who I really was anymore, I was constantly scared and having major panic attacks. I again reached out to my doctors who again put me on antidepressants, but this time, told me about ISEO which is free online theory service. It didn't take long for the antidepressants to stop working again but this time, I was having weekly online chat sessions with a therapist who was helping me to work out my triggers. It did help, and to be honest, I haven't had any big panic attacks in years, a few little ones but none that have left me clinging to the nearest person and crying like a baby. But still, the doctors never thought to look into helping me further when I said the medication wasn't working, it just got dropped.

Maybe if I had had the ADHD diagnosis, I could have been helped the first time I went to the doctors. You see, when I was a kid, ADHD was misdiagnosed as dyslexia. And in adults, it can be misdiagnosed as depression. The professionals I've dealt with seem to have just gone with the first thing they thought of and didn't look into anything else.

I do often think about how different my life could have been if I had been diagnosed properly when I was a kid. I could of done better at school, I could have done better in life as people would have understood me a little better.

I'm very lucky that the people I work closely with either know about ADHD or have ADHD so they understand me quite well. They all know that emailing me or sending me a Teams message with something they need me to do urgently. If it starts getting loud in the office, everyone know I'm putting my headphones in to listen to music to help me concentrate. 2 of the lads are great at explaining things to me in a way that I understand and have the pacients of saints when I ask them same questions for the 40th time because it goes in 1 ear and out the other.

I'm still waiting for my ADHD medication, last time I looked on the Psychiatry UK website, the waiting time for medication is 10 to 12 months. So I have a minimum of 3 months to wait. I've read lots of reviews about the medication, some are good and some are bad, but I am still excited to get started. I'm really fascinated to see if I change, if my brain becomes less noisy and I can actually focus like a normal person.

Stay tuned for updates 😁

Babymetal Release New Single “from me to u (Jordan Fish Remix)

Today is a very special day because Babymetal have released their new single, “from me to u (Jordan Fish Remix).” 

The deluxe edition will be available digitally and on vinyl, including a limited zoetrope pressing that brings ten album icons to life in motion. The expanded release features three live performances and two remixes of “from me to u (feat. Poppy),” including the new version by Major Lazer released last month, and this latest release with Jordan Fish.

The track is the second single to come out from their upcoming record Metal Forth (Deluxe Edition), which will be coming out on June 26. 

Disc 1, Side A
 1. from me to u (feat. Poppy) 
 2. RATATATA (BABYMETAL, Electric Callboy)
 3. Song 3 (BABYMETAL, Slaughter to Prevail)
 4. Kon! Kon! (feat. Bloodywood) 
 5.  KxAxWxAxIxI 
 
 Disc 1, Side B
 6. Sunset Kiss (feat. Polyphia)
 7.  My Queen (feat. Spiritbox) 
 8. Algorism 
 9. METALI!! (feat. Tom Morello) 
 10. White Flame ー白炎ー
 
 Disc 2, Side C
 1. from me to u (Major Lazer Remix) 
 2.  from me to u (Jordan Fish Remix)
 
 Disc 2, Side D
 3. from me to u (live from The O2) 
 4. My Queen (live from Intuit Dome)
 5. Algorism (live from Saitama Super Arena)

I’m super excited that Babymetal will be performing at Download Festival in just a few weeks, I’ve never seen them live so I’m going to make sure I don’t miss their set.

The band will soon be kicking off a UK and Europe tour before heading across the pond for the North American tour in August and Latin America at the end of November.

 

North America Tour Dates

August 30 – San Diego, CA - Petco Park*

September 2 – Denver, CO – Ball Arena

September 4 – Chicago, IL – Huntington Bank Pavilion at Northerly Island

September 5 – Noblesville, IN – Ruoff Music Center

September 7 – Toronto, ON – RBC Amphitheatre

September 9 – Holmdel, NJ – PNC Bank Arts Center

September 10 – Mansfield, MA – Xfinity Center

September 12 – Bristow, VA – Jiffy Lube Live

September 13 – Raleigh, NC – Coastal Credit Union Music Park at Walnut Creek

September 15 – Charlotte, NC – Truliant Amphitheater

September 16 – Alpharetta, GA – Ameris Bank Amphitheatre

September 18 – Clarkston, MI – Pine Knob Music Theatre

September 19 – Louisville, KY - Louder Than Life**

September 21 – St Louis, MO – Hollywood Casino Amphitheater

September 23 – Dallas, TX – Dos Equis Pavilion

September 25 – The Woodlands, TX – The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion Sponsored by Huntsman

September 26 – Austin, TX – Germania Insurance Amphitheater

September 29 – Albuquerque, NM – First Financial Credit Union Amphitheater

October 1 – Phoenix, AZ – Talking Stick Resort Amphitheatre

October 3 – Sacramento, CA – Aftershock Festival**

 

*Supporting My Chemical Romance

**Festival

 

Latin America Tour Dates

November 28 – São Paulo, Brazil - Espaço Unimed

December 1 – Buenos Aires, Argentina – Movistar Arena

December 3 – Santiago, Chile – Arena Movistar

December 7 – Lima, Peru – Costa 21

December 12 – Mexico City, Mexico – Estadio Fray Nano

Apps I Use For Gigs And Travel

I love phone apps, they can make our lives so much easier and what better time than when a trip is involved? I am very much a Google girl, I've had a Google account for years and I don't think there are many of their apps that I don't use.

Google Maps
What better way to organise your day than plotting out the places you need to go to on Maps. Hotels, nearby shops, venues, car parks, etc. Just about everything is listed on Google so it's a great search tool to find what you need and their websites. I find this really useful when I am driving to gigs so that I don't waste time on the day trying to find places. I usually create a list for each trip so that I keep my locations organised, I find this really helps me find locations quicker when I need them.

Google Translate
My husband is brilliant at picking up the basics of a language when we go abroad but I am useless, so I use Google Translate when I am in a bit of a pickle. I love that as well as translating what you want to say by either typing it into the app, it will then say the phrase so that you can either play it to someone or help you to say the phase yourself. The picture feature has been a lifesaver, because I have quite bad food intolerances, I have to check what I am eating and being able to take a picture and the app translates the writing has been a massive help. I have even had the app used on me by people, I was at a gig in Germany and not feeling well, the security guy couldn't speak much English so used Google Translate to ask me if I was ok.

Google Photos
I take a lot of pictures and videos in my day to day life so you can imagine how many I take when I'm on a trip or at a gig lol (on average, I take over 1000 pictures on a 2 week holiday so I need the storage). I make sure that everything gets uploaded to Google Photos as soon as possible and then I can organise them into albums so that they are easily found later on. One feature that I do like is once you have everything up-loaded to Google, you have the option of deleting the photos off of your phone. It saves so much memory on my phone and they are then easily accessible on the app if I need them.

Skyscanner
Love this app because I can plan multi-stop trips that I may need to go on if buses and trains aren't an option and to save a bit of time. I just need to put in the destinations and dates of travel and the site finds the flights. No going to multiple airlines websites seeing what flights are on what day, saves so much research time.

Booking.Com
I use Booking.com a lot for hotel stays and because I am a Genius Level 2 member, I get discounts off of some hotels. The search filter to find the perfect hotel is quite detailed as you can pick if breakfast is included, if it has a pool, wifi, free cancellation, pet friendly, no prepayment, fun things to do nearby, and so much more. I like to fill in the filters and then click to view the results on a map so that I can then pick the best location. I sometimes plan trips in advance so I can make a list per trip and add in the hotels I find that I may want to book or have booked so that they are easy to find later on.

Trip Advisor
The perfect trip planning companion, being able to see other peoples reviews of their experiences at hotels, tours, attractions, airlines and everything else you might want to do on a trip. You can also book through the site as well but I haven't done this before, I usually book directly through the companies website.

I hope you found this useful and may even start using the apps for your trips.

Just an FYI, I am not sponsored by any of the companies listed above, this is my personal opinion of these apps.

Gig Review - Massive Wagons - Dreamland Margate - 30/4/26

When a band like Massive Wagons comes to Kent, especially playing at Dreamland, even the fact it's a school night shouldn't stop you from going to see one of the best bands that are touring the UK right now.

Scarlett Rebels

In all honesty, I hadn't seen or listened to these guys before, so seeing them as support was brilliant. Awesome new music that I absolutely loved with an energy (especially the guitarist who never stopped moving for the whole set) that made me want to wiggle my butt all night long.

I loved meeting them after the show and getting to chat to them. I'm really lookong forward to seeing them again.

Massive Wagons

One of my favourite things about seeing these guys live (other than the super duper mega awesome music) is that they interact so much with the crowd, if you haven't been in the front row and screamed the lyrics with Baz, have you really lived? hahaha

I have to say, even though I have seen Bowzer's weight loss journey on Instagram, seeing him in person now is so inspiring. The man has lost so much weight that he looks like a different person, all though diet and exercise so he is now so much more healthy and strong looking. Big contragulations to him for getting to where he is now.

The set list was a perfect mix of old and new songs, I didn't know all the old ones but the happy vibe that I love was still there and hearing fans that knew the songs getting excited and singing along to the songs took the happy vibe to another level.

I love that 5 out of my top 10 favourite Massive Wagons wongs were on the set list because hearing them live was the best experience ever. The songs were Pkease Stay Calm, Missing On TV, Fuck The Haters, House Of Noise and Banking On The Stereo.

I loved every second of this gig, I wish I was able to see Massive Wagons a lot more.

Playlist 

Everywhere We Go

Fun While It Lasted

Please Stay Calm

Missing On TV

Fuck The Haters

Germ

Hero

Glorious

Night Skies

The Good Die Young

Generation Prime

House Of Noise

Banging On the Stereo

China Plates

Back To The Stack

In It Together

Album Review - AK And the red Kites - Hotter Than The Sun

Are you looking for a new album to rock through the summer too? yes? Well, let me tell you about the awesome new album from AK And The Red Kites - Hotter Than The Sun.

I've had the pleasure of seeing these guys and hearing their music for the last few years and I feel like this album is a whole new level of awesomeness for the band. 

The trackers are a great mixture of blues inspired tracks for swaying and bouncing on the balls of your feet while holding your hands in the air to feel the vibration of the music, and then high energy rocky tracks for butt wiggling, toe tapping and hair whipping.

I loved every track, but if I have to pick, my favourite tracks are Born To Lose because it had me moving around my living room for the whole track, it commands that you pay attention to every note and then move your body like no one is listening.

TRACK LISTING
Broken Love
Born To Lose
Stronger
Karmic Rituals
Pearl's Before Swine
West Coast Romance
Hotter Than The Sun
We Belong
Trouble Again
Sierra Starlight
Cosmic Train

If you want to see the band and hear some of the tracks live, check out the picture below, but there will be more so make sure you follow the band on their socials to stay up-to-date.

Packing Sensibly For A Gig With Just Hand Luggage

Like most people, I massively over-pack when I’m going away but I have had to learn to cut back A LOT when going abroad for a gig and only having hand luggage to take my clothes and things I need. Not just because of my size, my clothes take up a lot more room in a bag than someone who is smaller, but also it's become ever harder with airlines restricting hand luggage allowance.

Check the weather
And don’t underestimate the temperature as I thought I would be ok in November in Helsinki and seriously didn’t put on enough layers. I had 3 layers on, but it was nowhere near enough, it was so cold that I had to keep walking around and still got cramp in my thighs. What I should have done was have my super thick hoodie, extra vests and a few pairs of thermal leggings as I could have worn the hoodie on the flight and the whole time I was outside so it would never have gone in my hand luggage.

Get thermals for super cold weather
I love my thermals, since I got them, I have worn them out in some really cold weather and barely felt it. Thermals are meant to be worn under clothes but if you wear them for when you are in the queue for a gig, there are 2 ways to wear them. Under your clothes and you run the risk of them making you really hot during the gig or over your clothes so that once you get into the gig, it will take you 2 minutes to get them off so you don’t overheat during the gig. Having thermals will also save you packing multiple pairs of leggings, jeans or trousers. Sometimes I have even just worn my thermals instead of wearing them under jeans or leggings and they have still kept me warm. Plus, hand warmers are amazing, get a few packets before you go.

Get little toiletries bottles
You can easily get these from Amazon and they are just the right size if you are going away for a few days. Just fill each one with your shampoo, conditioner or shower gel and you don’t need to worry about going out when you get to your destination to buy toiletries. Just remember that you need to keep them under 100ml and to write on the bottles with a sharpie to say what is in them. You can also get mini versions of toiletries from Amazon or at the airport if you would prefer and they are usually under 100ml. If you have absolutely no room in your bag of bottles, you can always buy them in a shop near your hotel once you get there.

But, if you really don't have the room in your bag, take out toiletries that you know you can buy at your destination. Most supermarkets do travel sized toiletries so you don't have to pay out lots of money for a big bottle that you are only going to use once. Make sure to check the toiletries that your hotel provides for free, you might not need to worry about taking your own if the hotel supplies them.

Check the airline bag regulations
There have been a lot of changes recently in regards to the size of bags you are allowed on planes so make sure your bag is within the measurements or you will be looking at extra bag charges. The airlines are so strict, do not chance it. When measuring your bag, include the wheels and if the bag extends out. If your bag does not fit in the example box, even by the smallest amount, you will get charged.

One example of newer bag regulations is Ryanair, the standard bags are just to go under your seat, you can not have a handbag as well. If your belongings don't fit in the under seat bag, you will need to pay extra to have a 10kg that will go in the overhead compartment. When I flew to Cologne in April 2024, there was a person in the queue a few people in front of me and his bag would not go in the example box because the front of his bag was extended out. I don't know how much he got charged but he was not happy.

Be super strict
If you don’t need it, don’t take it. That top that you kind of like so you aren’t sure if you are going to wear it or not, don’t take it, you aren’t going to wear it. Do you really need 6 shades of lipstick? You can only wear 1 at a time. Hotels have towels so you don't need those. Thinking ahead and being strict will save you time and room in your bag.

One pair of shoes
I am the worst for this as I have my gig shoes and I have my normal day-to-day shoes, but if I am getting a flight to go abroad for a gig, I only take one set and that is normally my gig shoes as I know I will be comfy all the time in those

Wear what you can on the flight

If it's going to be cold, wear a hoodie on the flight, it doesn't take up any room in your bag that way. I usually wear a vest or a t-shirt to bed so I will sometimes wear those on the flight too, I take them off once I get to the hotel and get changed into my gig clothes.

One night = 3 sets of clothes

This has helped me stay strict on my packing, 1 night is 3 sets of clothes. The normal comfy clothes which will be for traveling, my PJs and my gig clothes. 

• Comfy trousers (leggings/jogging bottoms/whatever you are comfy in)
• Spare t-shirt (for the flight home)
• PJ bottoms (usually shorts)
• PJ top (a t-shirt or vest top)
• Gig top
• Gig trousers (for me, it's leggings)

My PJ top will be what I wear on the flight out and then wear the spare t-shirt on the flight home,

So there are my hints and tips on packing when all you have is hand luggage, I hope it helps you for future flights to gigs.

Gig Review - Lost Society - Underworld, Camden - 11/3/26

On Wednesday the 11th of March 2026, the Underworld in Camden had the roof blown clean off by the totally outstanding music that was being performed, and I was there to witness it.

I was with my awesome friend Carmen and we got the best spot in the whole venue, the little balcony directly opposite the stage. Not only could we see the stage perfectly with no 6 foot person standing in front of me and the railing was the perfect height for me to put my phone on it to record my favourite songs.

Awake Again

I have never been so blown away but an unknown (to me) support band before. They were absolutely amazing and I loved every minute of their set. Their music was brilliant, they had the best dance moves, they made me laugh and I just had so much fun seeing them.

I met them at their merch stall after the show and had a quick chat with them, they all seem like really lovely people. I hope they come back to the UK soon so I can see them again.

Lost Society

The moment that Lost Society took to the stage, the crowd erupted with applause and the band went straight into the first song of the night, Afterlife.

The set was a perfect mix of their new album "Hell Is A State Of Mind" and older albums such as "No Absolution", "If The Sky Came Down", "Braindead" and "Fast Loud Death". My favourite songs f    rom the set are Blood Diamond, 112, Underneath, Dead People Scare Me, Riot, Nonbeliever and Awake. 

I have become accustomed to the fact that any Lost society gig will be full of energy, perfectly played music, a sore throat from screaming every word and the possibility of whiplash from all the headbanging. This gig had all of that and more.

I loved that during Into Eternity, the group of people that were keeping the mosh pit going, did a slow mosh pit in time to the music. It was so funny to watch and Samy found it hilarious commenting on it from the stage. 

My absolute favourite songs of the night are Blood Diamond, Dead People Scare Me, Riot, Nonbeliever and Awake. They were the songs that really got me going, hearing them live is a million times better than listening to them on Spotify. I love them for their energy and how they make me move.

Set List

Afterlife

Blood Diamond

Blood On Your Hands

112

Underneath

Dead People Scare Me

I Am The Antidote

Riot

Is This What You Wanted

Nonbeliever

Kill (Those Who Oppose Me)

N.W.L

Into Eternity

Kill The Light

No Absolution

Hell Is A State Of Mind

Awake

EP Review - Table 4 Four - RiotWeekend

If you are after songs to add to your summer pop-punk, you need to listen to this awesome EP from RiotWeekend, because from the first song to the last, you won't be able to sit down.

The 4 piece band from Guildford, made up of Holly, Rab, Tomma and Salvatore, are releasing their 4 track EP, Table4Four on Friday the 27th of March.

It's very hard to pick a favourite song from the tracks but the one that stands out the most to me, and has been listened to the most on this EP, is Smile. It's the last track on the EP so it's like the band are closing the EP by giving everyone a big burst of energy. I love that there is some screaming in it, it's not in your face but it's there at the perfect moments in the song.

The music and vocals on every song is brilliant, you can really hear that the band have an amazing energy together. It's fun and bouncy to get you moving around, except Days Of December which is a bit like a little break before they launch into Smile to get you back on your feet.

I can see all of these songs being amazing played live by giving everyone in the venue a feel good atmosphere to dance to, and we have some great opportunities to see them in the coming months. When I spoke to the band a little while ago, they promised there is more to be announced so make sure they you are following them on socials and sign up to their newsletter to stay up-to-date. 

March

28th - EP Launch - Guidford - The Star Inn

30th - Gillingham - The Ship Inn

May

29th-30th - Guidford - ShyneFest 

July

4th-5th - GuilFest

Tracks
Last Day Of The Autumn Summer
Harry
Days Of December
Smile

We Are Chicken - Maidstone

One of my favourite things to do on cinema nights is to go to We Are Chicken for my dinner. The Odeon cinema and We Are Chicken are all in Lockmeadow in Maidstone so I don't even have to leave the building to get food before seeing a film and as it's in the food court part of Lockmeadow, there are loads of places to sit while you eat.

I usually don't like it that much when my chicken wings have a crust and are deep fried but the wings at We Are Chicken are amazing! I get the 10 wings for £10.95 because 5 of these awesome wings just isn't enough.

They are never dried out or falling apart, they stay together really nice and are still really moist so that they are more enjoyable.

I love the sauces, I have tried Frank's Buffalo Honey & Garlic and sticky BBQ, they are all amazing. I am trying to work my way through the sauces but the buffalo sauce keeps calling me back. As well as the sauce that goes on the chicken wings, you also get little pots of sauce for dipping. I love having the blue cheese sauce because it compliments the buffalo sauce perfectly.

You can have the chicken wings plain, without any sauce, there isn't an option on the screen but if you tell the lovely people working there that you want them plain, they will do that for you. I took my niece and nephew here before and they didn't like the sound of any of the sauces so the staff were kind enough to do them plain for me.

They do lots of other food too like wraps, fries and chicken tenders but I haven't tries those yet.

Single Review - Cracks - The Dead Collective

Today is a special day as it is release day for the new single "Cracks" from The Dead Collective. 

This song hits me in that quiet, unexpected way that a good late‑night song does. The Dead Collective lean into atmosphere, but what really grabbed me was the emotional weight tucked between the lines. The guitars feel like they’re drifting in from another room, and Oli's vocals have this worn, vulnerable edge that makes the whole track feel confessional.

There’s a kind of beautiful heaviness in the track, the sense of someone trying to make sense of the fractures in their life without pretending they can fix them.

For me, this track is one of those songs you don’t just sit and listen to; you get drawn into it with it's quieter music and harmonies in the verses and then a slightly more upbeat and louder chorus to bring it all to life.

Check out the song and if you like it, you have time to get tickets to the Metamorphosis tour that kicks off on the 16th of April in Milton Keynes with Anchor Lane as support until the last 2 shows of the tour where Jim Jennett will be the support doing an acoustic.