It's 102 days until Christmas Eve, I only have 3 more paydays until Christmas.
Where exactly has 2026 gone?
I need to start thinking about what to get people for Christmas and most of the list is kids who I have no idea what they are into anymore.
This also leads to the fact that in a few months, I am going to start seeing Santa everywhere which will freak me out.
You see, my dad was basically Santa. He looked like him, had a Santa suit, loved Christmas and especially loved walking round at Christmas in his Santa suit raising money for charity.
Christmas was always magical when he was alive, he was the one waking me up on Christmas morning because he couldn't wait any longer. I remember one year when I was little, he woke me up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve and whispered that he thought Santa was on the roof. We went over to the window, opened it and I could hear seigh bells. We both got all excited and he said I better get back in bed or Santa wouldnt leave me any presents. I found out many years later that it was actually my big brother standing in the alley next to our house shaking the bells, but I love that they did that to make Christmas magical for me.
This is why, since my dad passed away in 2020, Christmas isn't the same anymore. I want to love Christmas like I did before, but it's hard to get into it and not have dad here.
The first Christmas he was gone, I spent the whole week with my mum. The second year I didn't want to know Christmas so Sean and I booked a hotel in Cornwall. Christmas Day was a day in the hotel room eating pizza and watching Doctor Who. The years after that we have been at home, I have decorated the house in Christmas stuff and tried to be as festive as possible, but my heart breaks multiple times a day.
I went to a Christmas market with my mum last year and we had to leave because a guy dressed up as Santa was there and he looked like dad. It completely freaked me out.
I have no idea what I will be like this year, and that worries me.